You’re going to shave me where?

In 1970 I was 18 having my first baby. I knew nothing about labor much less delivery. At some point during my pregnancy I had asked my mother the age old question, "How will I know? " Her ominous response was, "Oh, you'll KNOW !" As I sat on the gurney in my "breezy" patient gown, (willing myself not to cry), the door thumped and bumped open. There stood my nurse, with her hands on her hips, and a slight smirk on her face she said, "I've got a job to do". I had no idea what was coming my way.

First, she needed to hear the baby's heartbeat...No electronic fetal monitors like we have today! She approached me with a shiny apparatus that fastened over her head with a long protruding horn on the end. This made her look like the "Unicorn Queen".
(Actually I'd seen the doctor use this before, but it looked hilarious on her.) She told me the baby sounds ok. Her next task: she wanted to "examine" me. I had NO idea what she meant! Really! What was I thinking?

Did I expect her to have crystal ball and exclaim the baby would be here soon?

SNAP...her glove was on and charging toward my vagina! Ooooh myyyy! I felt like she was trying to reach my tonsils. Pulling her hand out she said tersely, "You're 4 centimeters". My response was," What number do I have to be at to deliver?" (I was very goal oriented.) Ten 10 centimeters was her reply. "How long will that take?" Sensing I was an overachiever, she smiled ruefully and laughed, "It could be as short as 8 hours and as long as 24!" With that, she turned and marched out of the room!

A short time later as I contemplated chewing my husband's hand off with each contraction, "Sergeant" Nurse burst into the room again. Shooing my husband out, she spun toward me saying "I'm going to shave you and give you an enema!" "Umm, where are you going to shave me?" She gleefully lifted the sheet, whispered and pointed to my pubic hair "Down there!"
I was shocked! (I didn't even realize that the worst was yet to come when the hair started growing back.) After introducing a bucket full of warm soapy water into my system, I was completely CLEANED UP and OUT! And I had no more modesty issues!

This experience is cemented in my mind. It's funny now, but at I was really scared. Here's what bothers me, the nurse seemed to enjoy my discomfort. When I was a Labor & Delivery nurse, I chose to explain everything to moms I labored. Now in Fetal Diagnostics, I realize my past experiences help me recognize patient anxiety and fear, and I can help allay those.