Friday, June 3, 2011

Friends.....



( I see myself as Elphaba..... opinionated and marching to the beat of my own drummer or flying around on my broomstick....whatever!)

When I first saw WICKED in New York in April 2006, I was blown away by the actors, story ( read the book) and music....especially this song.....I love the words and sentiment. 
I believe that people DO come into my life for a reason. I believe I am meant to learn something from each person and to help each person.
So to my friends: past and present, THANK YOU! I have been changed "For Good."

Music from "WICKED"

For Good

(Elphaba):


I'm limited


Just look at me - I'm limited


And just look at you


You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda


So now it's up to you


For both of us - now it's up to you.
 
(Glinda):



I've heard it said


That people come into our lives for a reason


Bringing something we must learn


And we are led


To those who help us most to grow


If we let them


And we help them in return


Well, I don't know if I believe that's true


But I know I'm who I am today


Because I knew you...


Like a comet pulled from orbit



As it passes a sun


Like a stream that meets a boulder


Halfway through the wood


Who can say if I've been changed for the better?


But because I knew you


I have been changed for good



(Elphaba):


It well may be


That we will never meet again


In this lifetime


So let me say before we part


So much of me


Is made from what I learned from you


You'll be with me


Like a handprint on my heart


And now whatever way our stories end


I know you have re-written mine


By being my friend...






Like a ship blown from its mooring


By a wind off the sea


Like a seed dropped by a skybird


In a distant wood


Who can say if I've been changed for the better?


But because I knew you



(Elphaba):

And just to clear the air


I ask forgiveness


For the things I've done you blame me for

(Glinda):

But then, I guess we know


There's blame to share

(Both):

And none of it seems to matter anymore


Who can say if I've been



Changed for the better?


I do believe I have been


Changed for the better


(Glinda):

And because I knew you...


(Elphaba):

Because I knew you...

(Both)

Because I knew you...



I have been changed for good...

Monday, April 18, 2011

My Wake Up Call !!!

I can no longer pretend I'm not overweight. Oh believe me, I've tried! Wearing black...wearing my exercise pants with a long sweater....trying to use make-up to hide my double chin....And somehow wearing blinders when I look in the mirror. But yesterday, after my future daught-in-law's shower, I saw a picture of myself. (Ok, the 3 people I was standing next to were very thin.) But I could have fit 2 of them behind me ....easily! Maybe all 3!
That does it! I can no longer ignore my distinctive waddle, nor the flab around not only my middle, but also the flab swinging back and forth on my upper arms. Not to mention my legs, hips and butt!
This "blindness" of mine ends now. Blinders Off! Take a good hard look! How did I let it get this far?
How will I do this? Especially with only 68 days to go until my son David's wedding!!!!
I won't take diet pills. I won't starve myself. I don't have hours/ day to exercise.
Here's what I will do.....
Take it one day at a time. Monitor my portions and my fat intake.(and carbs,too.) I will increase my exercise daily. Be inventive...walk in the morning before work...walk after work. Today, I closed the door to my office and exercised by dancing and doing squats. Then I walked up and down a flight of stairs 3x. I kept monitoring my heart rate and my breathing. I'm going to try to do that daily.
I'll let you know how it goes....Onward and pounds downward!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

NFL Player Association vs NFL owners:The war between "Little Millionaires" and "Big Millionaires/Billionaires."

I don't know about you, but I don't get it..... the NFL players vs NFL owners. I'm not skilled in the intricacies of multimillion dollar contracts and payments or even earnings, but I am skilled in empathy and understanding. Both fail me now. All I see are cry baby athletes who are out of touch with the reality of what is really happening in the world we all live in! Those poor guys aren't getting a big enough piece of the pie! ( oh, the pain of it all!) And oh my, the big bad owners won't open their financial books to them. Since when does a privately held company/team have to open their books? In my world publicly held company's report earnings because they have stockholders....Are the players stockholders? Are they business partners?

And while I'm on the subject, Mr. Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota Vikings tweeted: "It's modern day slavery, you know?" Then Mr. Rashard Mendenhall backed Peterson by posting: "Anyone with knowledge of the slave trade and the NFL could say these two parallel each other." REALLY???
Sure, I know when the union decertified the owners said we won't cover your healthcare. Oh poor players, try being out of work, struggling to put food on the table, and no healthcare.  I absolutely have no sympathy for you. I doubt many folks do.

Heaven help me, I am a Chicago Bears fan. Usually by October, I decide not not get myself crazy over their record. But in 2010, they pulled me back in. (Godfather Quote) I would have loved to see them play come September 2011. But I don't care now. Wake Up! Grown Up! Quit Crying! If you don't like the job or pay, then quit! I'm sure there are plenty of college football players ready to step in!



And read this!

Tell yourself that you have a good life, count your blessings, and learn to stay positive no matter what.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Things to Think about When Choosing an Obstetrician

Recently I was doing a Non-Stress Test (NST) on a patient in our antepartum testing center. Her amniotic fluid level was below 5cm, so I was waiting for the physician to call back with orders to send her to labor and delivery. Turns out her physician was not available, and the "on call" MD was a physician that the patient didn't know.
Cindy(not her real name) looked at me and remarked, "I thought MY doctor would always be the one to deliver me."
This was not the first time a patient had this reaction. Which prompted me to write this blog.

Things to think about:

1. If your OB is a single practioner:  Does he/she do all their own deliveries?
    ( Meaning being available 24 hours, 7 days a week.)
    My experience tells that this is RARELY the case.
    Some OB's have very small practices ( less than 10 pts/month)
    so this may be possible.

2. If your OB is a single practioner and does share call with other MD's,
    who are they?
    How does the call schedule work?
    Do they share your doctor's standard of care?
    How does your OB communicate with them ?
    Since the "on call"  MD is not physically affiliated with the
    private practioner, most rely on the "Prenatal Records"
    to provide the information. 
    If you have a birth plan, special requests,etc.,
    ask physician to attach a copy to your prenatal forms.
    This information is then delivered to the hospital L & D Unit
    where you plan to give birth.
   
    A good idea is to ask for your own copy of the "prenatals" @ 36 weeks.
    If you are ever in a situation where you can't get to your
    planned hospital having this information in your purse
    will be valuable.

3. If your physician practices within a "group," you still need to ask
    how the call schedule works.
    Usually your MD will deliver your baby if you give birth
    during the business day.( 8am-6pm )
    Then the "on call" doctor takes over.
    Some OB/GYN groups share call with other OB/GYN groups.
    That means you may know the doctors in your group,
     but may have to spin the roulette wheel on the others.


    The hospital I work at has several group practices
    and single practitioners. Poor MD/Patient communication continues
    to be an issue.

    My recommendation: Never Assume Anything! Always Ask!
    It is your right to know.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Fear, Hope and God's Grace- My "Shawshank Redemption"



As I sit here today, I can't help but feel blessed.
I've been on a journey for what seems like my lifetime.
My parents divorced when I was a 7-8 year old child. My memories of my biological family are few.
Whatever "photographic" evidence my mother had was destroyed. I remember looking at pics where my father's face was torn out.  Eventually those pictures disappeared altogether. I don't blame my mom. It is what she needed to do to move forward. I know she felt she was protecting not only me, but my sisters. To this day, she just says that I have no idea how awful her marriage was.
For me, it left a void in my life. Mom remarried and we were adopted by the man I consider my father. (Though not right away.) My paternal biological family was "those whose name shall not be mentioned."
And for many years that was the case. However, mom would tell my sisters and me that our biological father "never loved" us.
As I grew into adulthood and became a mother myself I sought "therapy." I couldn't fathom a parent not loving their child. I found it difficult to trust my men in my relationships. I thought that one day they would leave me. I felt I was "unlovable" no matter what evidence/reality was right in front of me. My greatest fears were/are abandonment and rejection. In fact, those fears propelled me in many life decisions.

I decided to reach out to my paternal biological family. Thanks to the internet and social websites, I  connected with them. I was fearful that no one would answer my e-mails. I thought I had accepted that possibility. What I couldn't admit was my buried yet palpable fear of rejection. I remained so cool/cavalier on the outside but internally there was a knot in my stomach. I prayed & gave it up to God and  then "Let it Be." All I could do was hope.

Through God's grace, the family responded. It wasn't until this morning that I realized how relieved I feel. The little girl in me feared rejection. That little girl cried this morning because indeed... "Fear CAN hold you prisoner...Hope can set you free!" God is Good!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

National Nurses Week: May 6th-12th 2010

Today is National  Nurse's Day. My hospital will recognize nursing care with a Luncheon/Dinner.

"NURSING YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW"
Driving transformation in our community's health care
A Cirque du Soleil Celebration especially for you!


I didn't realize how funny that title was until I wrote it here. Sometimes being a nurse does feel like a "Cirque du Soleil."  I do find myself spinning, bending, juggling and flexing to provide excellent care for patients! Kuddos for the humor! But I digress. This Blog Post is about trying to celebrate Nurses', Mom's, Dads, Love, etc., for 1 day. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the yearly recognition, but what about the other 364/365 (leap year) days?

At the yearly party, nurses' are treated to great food, SUPERB desserts buffet 
(cookie, candy, cake with take home boxes) and a raffle. Unfortunately I can barely do this within my 1/2 hour lunch. Sometimes the unit is so busy other nurses bring back food to share. Each nurse used to get a little "gift." The gifts were pretty funny and mostly useless, so the nurses voted to donate the money spent on those gifts to a local charity.( Isn't that just like us?)

While I enjoy all of this fanfare, I would give it up for more consistency year round by the administration. I want to have more communication from management. Communication that treats me like the professional I am. Communication that promotes change. Honest Communication that speaks loudly to my value to the healthcare team. I believe management suffers from inertia. By that I mean that their focus appears to be on the "brick & mortar," & gaining certifications such as "MAGNET,"( I know those are the foundation for the hospital.)
but I believe the administration could do more to promote nursing " well-being " year-round.
However,even as I write this, I realize that the appreciation for nursing & change has to come from within the "rank and file."  Change begins/comes from within each nurse.
 In view of that I'd like to share the following piece by Donna Cardillo RN,MA, in NurseWeek.


The word “Zen” is often bandied about. Although many definitions of Zen exist, it’s simply the art of being present in everything you do, giving full attention to each action, each interaction, each task. Unfortunately, we often are mentally on to the next thing before we have finished what we’re currently doing, thus shortchanging the task at hand. How can you adopt a Zen philosophy in nursing? Here are seven suggestions:




Set your intention each day. Before going to work, decide what you wish to accomplish, not in terms of tasks or projects, but in terms of an overall philosophical goal. For example, your intention might be to be patient with everyone you encounter — staff, family members and clients — and consider that they all are carrying a heavy load. Your intention can be the same each day or take a different focus.



Ground yourself. Take at least five minutes before your workday (and during the shift as necessary) for meditation, prayer and contemplation to center yourself. Spending even a few minutes with your eyes closed or cast downward, focusing on your breathing, connecting with your spirit will help you stay in touch with your inner voice and wisdom. Grounding brings you into the present moment rather than projecting into the future or obsessing about the past. A racing mind that reacts sensitively to little things has lost its spiritual power. Meditation restores that.



Create good karma. The word “karma” is derived from the Sanskrit word kri, which means “action.” It is the universal law of cause and effect that says every thought, word and act carries energy into the world. Therefore, do not judge or criticize others. Absolve not to partake in gossip or negativity of any type. Look only to help, support and encourage. Your thoughts and actions directly impact your environment.

Affirm your path. Remind yourself daily of the sacredness of your work — your chosen life path. It is truly a privilege to walk the path of the healer. Although the road may be rocky and steep, the destination is worth the journey. You save lives. You help bring new life into the world. You are there to ease the transition when life departs the body, and are there for every other aspect of the life cycle. Your work has value and meaning.



Aspire to new heights. Each day, consider how you can become a better person and a better nurse. Always be moving forward in your career and life, looking for ways to improve, to bring new positive energy into your world. This might involve learning a new skill, taking a class, getting more organized, being more generous and so on.

Be mindful in everything you do. When you are with a patient, focus only on that patient for that time and be more aware of every aspect of him or her. To be mindful is to be truly alive and present with those around you and with what you are doing. Even routine tasks can become a meditation of sorts.



Tap into abundant energy. The universal life force, also known as chi, is present in every living thing. It flows freely in us when we eat healthy food, get proper exercise, breathe clean air, live and work in an uncluttered environment, and avoid negativity. Taking care of yourself, including using modalities such as Reiki and massage therapy in your self-care routine, will help to keep you energized and doing your work at the highest level.



http://news.nurse.com/article/20100503/DD01/105030020


Thursday, April 15, 2010

Reflections: A Love Letter to My Husband Dennis

All of my 7 readers (old Rick Dees joke) know by now that I find my life's inspirations in many ways. Music is one. Today's inspiration comes from BeBe and CeCe Winans album "Still."  I love the whole CD.  Each time I listen to it, I connect to a different song. I suppose it depends what I'm feeling that particular day. The song of the day is "I Found You." This was a perfect fit because I've been reflecting on what a blessing my husband is in my life.
We met through business in 1990. I remember I enjoyed talking to him. And even though I thought he was cute for a "yuppie," what I was most impressed by was his good heart. However, most people we worked with thought of him differently. ( I will not comment about those folks.)
As I spent more time with Dennis, I came to enjoy his sense of humor & laughter, as well as his hard headed opinions & anger. (For the benefit of my kids...yes he did bring me over to the "Republican" side.) When it came to intimacy, he generously cared about my pleasure. (still does)
Twenty years ago I found it hard to accept that someone could genuinely love me. I questioned if I deserved love. I was so ashamed about choices I'd made as a young women. I thought I should be punished for the rest of my life. It was then and continues to be Dennis who reflects all of my goodness back to me. My husband who is not committed to any " religion," found a way to help me see how God sees me. He (Dennis) did this through his constant acceptance of me, quirks, past baggage and all.
It's Unconditional Love.  I believe in God. I believe God introduced Dennis to me. The first year of our relationship,I struggled with this concept.
Dennis proposed to me on Valentine's Day 1991. We married in 1993.
Our love has grown through happy and challenging times. He is my best friend who continues to reflect my goodness back to me.



I Found You (Cindy's Song)
BeBe and CeCe Winans


When I found you...I found somebody who cares
When i found you...Found my most intimate prayer
When i found you...I found what every heart dreams of
When i found you...I found love


When I found you I found the rest of my life
When I found you I told all others good-bye
When I found you I saw my fears fly away like a dove
When I found you I found love

I Know True love sounds crazy
But worth waiting for
You are the one...My only
Forever More

When I found you i found my fate in your arms
When i found you i found no cause for alarm
When I found you i knew this love was a gift from above
When i found love...