Last week in a conversation with my friend Phyllis,I said the following: "I feel great! I'm happy! Sure there are challenges but I love my life! 58 is GREAT!"
My happiness is my own to control. Living a life of introspection has helped me acknowledge my blessings, as well acknowledge my stumbling blocks,my "baggage." I always try to strike a balance between my blessings and my needed improvements. I can become too hard myself, so I really try to limit my own brow beating!
After I shared my happiness, the Italian side of my brain said; "get ready for the other shoe to drop!" I promptly decided to ignore my crazy Italian-Catholic Girl voice. One week later I found myself with more back pain than I've had in 18 months. I actually had to leave work on Friday. As luck or better put the orthopedic group I go to had no same day appointments. Couldn't get an order for physical therapy either, until "they can evauluate my pain!" So home I went in pain,took Vicodin, rested and tried to evaluate what had changed those past 2 weeks. Did the other shoe (s)drop?
In a word, YES! LITERALLY! I had purchased Reebock Easy Tone Shoes. Those are the ones that are supposed help your butt,calves,etc. Oh yeah, they helped...give me a pain in my ASS! And my back,too! I'll be returning them to Nordstrom this week! On Saturday I purchased ASICS 3000 running shoes. I don't run anymore, but these shoes give me support when I walk. Being a nurse, I've worn all kinds of shoes,from Dansko to the Stretch Walker to regular athletic shoes. There is no perfect answer. I'll try these and see they feel after 8-10 hours on my feet.
After having spent two days on Vicodin, I found myself depressed(duh), reevaluating & contemplating my happiness.
Why is MY or anyone's Happiness important?
As a former Nursing Psyche Instructor used to say..."If the Mama's happy, then everyone in the family is happy!" I'm going to rephrase it in terms I understand today.
If I'm happy, that happiness radiates inside me and out to others I encounter. I know I've felt the touch from others,so much so that I strive to find my radiance, my light! I believe this is God within me. I mean I truly believe this! I truly believe this is my calling...my journey.
I have more to share so I'll be writing another entry shortly.
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