Fear, Hope and God's Grace- My "Shawshank Redemption"

As I sit here today, I can't help but feel blessed.
I've been on a journey for what seems like my lifetime.
My parents divorced when I was a 7-8 year old child. My memories of my biological family are few.
Whatever "photographic" evidence my mother had was destroyed. I remember looking at pics where my father's face was torn out.  Eventually those pictures disappeared altogether. I don't blame my mom. It is what she needed to do to move forward. I know she felt she was protecting not only me, but my sisters. To this day, she just says that I have no idea how awful her marriage was.
For me, it left a void in my life. Mom remarried and we were adopted by the man I consider my father. (Though not right away.) My paternal biological family was "those whose name shall not be mentioned."
And for many years that was the case. However, mom would tell my sisters and me that our biological father "never loved" us.
As I grew into adulthood and became a mother myself I sought "therapy." I couldn't fathom a parent not loving their child. I found it difficult to trust my men in my relationships. I thought that one day they would leave me. I felt I was "unlovable" no matter what evidence/reality was right in front of me. My greatest fears were/are abandonment and rejection. In fact, those fears propelled me in many life decisions.

I decided to reach out to my paternal biological family. Thanks to the internet and social websites, I  connected with them. I was fearful that no one would answer my e-mails. I thought I had accepted that possibility. What I couldn't admit was my buried yet palpable fear of rejection. I remained so cool/cavalier on the outside but internally there was a knot in my stomach. I prayed & gave it up to God and  then "Let it Be." All I could do was hope.

Through God's grace, the family responded. It wasn't until this morning that I realized how relieved I feel. The little girl in me feared rejection. That little girl cried this morning because indeed... "Fear CAN hold you prisoner...Hope can set you free!" God is Good!