Queen of Hearts

Friends.....

2011-06-03T11:52:00.000-07:00

( I see myself as Elphaba..... opinionated and marching to the beat of my own drummer or flying around on my broomstick....whatever!)

When I first saw WICKED in New York in April 2006, I was blown away by the actors, story ( read the book) and music....especially this song.....I love the words and sentiment.
I believe that people DO come into my life for a reason. I believe I am meant to learn something from each person and to help each person.
So to my friends: past and present, THANK YOU! I have been changed "For Good."

Music from "WICKED"

For Good

(Elphaba):

I'm limited

Just look at me - I'm limited

And just look at you

You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda

So now it's up to you

For both of us - now it's up to you.

(Glinda):

I've heard it said

That people come into our lives for a reason

Bringing something we must learn

And we are led

To those who help us most to grow

If we let them

And we help them in return

Well, I don't know if I believe that's true

But I know I'm who I am today

Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit

As it passes a sun

Like a stream that meets a boulder

Halfway through the wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you

I have been changed for good

(Elphaba):

It well may be

That we will never meet again

In this lifetime

So let me say before we part

So much of me

Is made from what I learned from you

You'll be with me

Like a handprint on my heart

And now whatever way our stories end

I know you have re-written mine

By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring

By a wind off the sea

Like a seed dropped by a skybird

In a distant wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you

(Elphaba):

And just to clear the air

I ask forgiveness

For the things I've done you blame me for

(Glinda):

But then, I guess we know

There's blame to share

(Both):

And none of it seems to matter anymore

Who can say if I've been

Changed for the better?

I do believe I have been

Changed for the better

(Glinda):

And because I knew you...

(Elphaba):

Because I knew you...

(Both)

Because I knew you...

I have been changed for good...

My Wake Up Call !!!

2011-04-18T13:00:00.000-07:00

I can no longer pretend I'm not overweight. Oh believe me, I've tried! Wearing black...wearing my exercise pants with a long sweater....trying to use make-up to hide my double chin....And somehow wearing blinders when I look in the mirror. But yesterday, after my future daught-in-law's shower, I saw a picture of myself. (Ok, the 3 people I was standing next to were very thin.) But I could have fit 2 of them behind me ....easily! Maybe all 3!
That does it! I can no longer ignore my distinctive waddle, nor the flab around not only my middle, but also the flab swinging back and forth on my upper arms. Not to mention my legs, hips and butt!
This "blindness" of mine ends now. Blinders Off! Take a good hard look! How did I let it get this far?
How will I do this? Especially with only 68 days to go until my son David's wedding!!!!
I won't take diet pills. I won't starve myself. I don't have hours/ day to exercise.
Here's what I will do.....
Take it one day at a time. Monitor my portions and my fat intake.(and carbs,too.) I will increase my exercise daily. Be inventive...walk in the morning before work...walk after work. Today, I closed the door to my office and exercised by dancing and doing squats. Then I walked up and down a flight of stairs 3x. I kept monitoring my heart rate and my breathing. I'm going to try to do that daily.
I'll let you know how it goes....Onward and pounds downward!

NFL Player Association vs NFL owners:The war between "Little Millionaires" and "Big Millionaires/Billionaires."

2011-03-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but I don't get it..... the NFL players vs NFL owners. I'm not skilled in the intricacies of multimillion dollar contracts and payments or even earnings, but I am skilled in empathy and understanding. Both fail me now. All I see are cry baby athletes who are out of touch with the reality of what is really happening in the world we all live in! Those poor guys aren't getting a big enough piece of the pie! ( oh, the pain of it all!) And oh my, the big bad owners won't open their financial books to them. Since when does a privately held company/team have to open their books? In my world publicly held company's report earnings because they have stockholders....Are the players stockholders? Are they business partners?

And while I'm on the subject, Mr. Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota Vikings tweeted: "It's modern day slavery, you know?" Then Mr. Rashard Mendenhall backed Peterson by posting: "Anyone with knowledge of the slave trade and the NFL could say these two parallel each other." REALLY???
Sure, I know when the union decertified the owners said we won't cover your healthcare. Oh poor players, try being out of work, struggling to put food on the table, and no healthcare. I absolutely have no sympathy for you. I doubt many folks do.

Heaven help me, I am a Chicago Bears fan. Usually by October, I decide not not get myself crazy over their record. But in 2010, they pulled me back in. (Godfather Quote) I would have loved to see them play come September 2011. But I don't care now. Wake Up! Grown Up! Quit Crying! If you don't like the job or pay, then quit! I'm sure there are plenty of college football players ready to step in!

And read this!

Tell yourself that you have a good life, count your blessings, and learn to stay positive no matter what.

Things to Think about When Choosing an Obstetrician

2010-05-15T08:24:00.000-07:00

Recently I was doing a Non-Stress Test (NST) on a patient in our antepartum testing center. Her amniotic fluid level was below 5cm, so I was waiting for the physician to call back with orders to send her to labor and delivery. Turns out her physician was not available, and the "on call" MD was a physician that the patient didn't know.
Cindy(not her real name) looked at me and remarked, "I thought MY doctor would always be the one to deliver me."
This was not the first time a patient had this reaction. Which prompted me to write this blog.

Things to think about:

1. If your OB is a single practioner: Does he/she do all their own deliveries?
    ( Meaning being available 24 hours, 7 days a week.)
    My experience tells that this is RARELY the case.
    Some OB's have very small practices ( less than 10 pts/month)
    so this may be possible.

2. If your OB is a single practioner and does share call with other MD's,
    who are they?
    How does the call schedule work?
    Do they share your doctor's standard of care?
    How does your OB communicate with them ?
    Since the "on call" MD is not physically affiliated with the
    private practioner, most rely on the "Prenatal Records"
    to provide the information.
    If you have a birth plan, special requests,etc.,
    ask physician to attach a copy to your prenatal forms.
    This information is then delivered to the hospital L & D Unit
    where you plan to give birth.

    A good idea is to ask for your own copy of the "prenatals" @ 36 weeks.
    If you are ever in a situation where you can't get to your
    planned hospital having this information in your purse
    will be valuable.

3. If your physician practices within a "group," you still need to ask
    how the call schedule works.
    Usually your MD will deliver your baby if you give birth
    during the business day.( 8am-6pm )
    Then the "on call" doctor takes over.
    Some OB/GYN groups share call with other OB/GYN groups.
    That means you may know the doctors in your group,
     but may have to spin the roulette wheel on the others.

    The hospital I work at has several group practices
    and single practitioners. Poor MD/Patient communication continues
    to be an issue.

    My recommendation: Never Assume Anything! Always Ask!
    It is your right to know.

Fear, Hope and God's Grace- My "Shawshank Redemption"

2010-05-14T08:29:00.000-07:00

As I sit here today, I can't help but feel blessed.
I've been on a journey for what seems like my lifetime.
My parents divorced when I was a 7-8 year old child. My memories of my biological family are few.
Whatever "photographic" evidence my mother had was destroyed. I remember looking at pics where my father's face was torn out. Eventually those pictures disappeared altogether. I don't blame my mom. It is what she needed to do to move forward. I know she felt she was protecting not only me, but my sisters. To this day, she just says that I have no idea how awful her marriage was.
For me, it left a void in my life. Mom remarried and we were adopted by the man I consider my father. (Though not right away.) My paternal biological family was "those whose name shall not be mentioned."
And for many years that was the case. However, mom would tell my sisters and me that our biological father "never loved" us.
As I grew into adulthood and became a mother myself I sought "therapy." I couldn't fathom a parent not loving their child. I found it difficult to trust my men in my relationships. I thought that one day they would leave me. I felt I was "unlovable" no matter what evidence/reality was right in front of me. My greatest fears were/are abandonment and rejection. In fact, those fears propelled me in many life decisions.

I decided to reach out to my paternal biological family. Thanks to the internet and social websites, I connected with them. I was fearful that no one would answer my e-mails. I thought I had accepted that possibility. What I couldn't admit was my buried yet palpable fear of rejection. I remained so cool/cavalier on the outside but internally there was a knot in my stomach. I prayed & gave it up to God and then "Let it Be." All I could do was hope.

Through God's grace, the family responded. It wasn't until this morning that I realized how relieved I feel. The little girl in me feared rejection. That little girl cried this morning because indeed... "Fear CAN hold you prisoner...Hope can set you free!" God is Good!

National Nurses Week: May 6th-12th 2010

2010-05-06T08:47:00.000-07:00

Today is National Nurse's Day. My hospital will recognize nursing care with a Luncheon/Dinner.

"NURSING YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW"

Driving transformation in our community's health care

A Cirque du Soleil Celebration especially for you!

I didn't realize how funny that title was until I wrote it here. Sometimes being a nurse does feel like a "Cirque du Soleil." I do find myself spinning, bending, juggling and flexing to provide excellent care for patients! Kuddos for the humor! But I digress. This Blog Post is about trying to celebrate Nurses', Mom's, Dads, Love, etc., for 1 day. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the yearly recognition, but what about the other 364/365 (leap year) days?

At the yearly party, nurses' are treated to great food, SUPERB desserts buffet

(cookie, candy, cake with take home boxes) and a raffle. Unfortunately I can barely do this within my 1/2 hour lunch. Sometimes the unit is so busy other nurses bring back food to share. Each nurse used to get a little "gift." The gifts were pretty funny and mostly useless, so the nurses voted to donate the money spent on those gifts to a local charity.( Isn't that just like us?)

While I enjoy all of this fanfare, I would give it up for more consistency year round by the administration. I want to have more communication from management. Communication that treats me like the professional I am. Communication that promotes change. Honest Communication that speaks loudly to my value to the healthcare team. I believe management suffers from inertia. By that I mean that their focus appears to be on the "brick & mortar," & gaining certifications such as "MAGNET,"( I know those are the foundation for the hospital.)

but I believe the administration could do more to promote nursing " well-being " year-round.

However,even as I write this, I realize that the appreciation for nursing & change has to come from within the "rank and file." Change begins/comes from within each nurse.

In view of that I'd like to share the following piece by Donna Cardillo RN,MA, in NurseWeek.

The word “Zen” is often bandied about. Although many definitions of Zen exist, it’s simply the art of being present in everything you do, giving full attention to each action, each interaction, each task. Unfortunately, we often are mentally on to the next thing before we have finished what we’re currently doing, thus shortchanging the task at hand. How can you adopt a Zen philosophy in nursing? Here are seven suggestions:

Set your intention each day. Before going to work, decide what you wish to accomplish, not in terms of tasks or projects, but in terms of an overall philosophical goal. For example, your intention might be to be patient with everyone you encounter — staff, family members and clients — and consider that they all are carrying a heavy load. Your intention can be the same each day or take a different focus.

Ground yourself. Take at least five minutes before your workday (and during the shift as necessary) for meditation, prayer and contemplation to center yourself. Spending even a few minutes with your eyes closed or cast downward, focusing on your breathing, connecting with your spirit will help you stay in touch with your inner voice and wisdom. Grounding brings you into the present moment rather than projecting into the future or obsessing about the past. A racing mind that reacts sensitively to little things has lost its spiritual power. Meditation restores that.

Create good karma. The word “karma” is derived from the Sanskrit word kri, which means “action.” It is the universal law of cause and effect that says every thought, word and act carries energy into the world. Therefore, do not judge or criticize others. Absolve not to partake in gossip or negativity of any type. Look only to help, support and encourage. Your thoughts and actions directly impact your environment.

Affirm your path. Remind yourself daily of the sacredness of your work — your chosen life path. It is truly a privilege to walk the path of the healer. Although the road may be rocky and steep, the destination is worth the journey. You save lives. You help bring new life into the world. You are there to ease the transition when life departs the body, and are there for every other aspect of the life cycle. Your work has value and meaning.

Aspire to new heights. Each day, consider how you can become a better person and a better nurse. Always be moving forward in your career and life, looking for ways to improve, to bring new positive energy into your world. This might involve learning a new skill, taking a class, getting more organized, being more generous and so on.

Be mindful in everything you do. When you are with a patient, focus only on that patient for that time and be more aware of every aspect of him or her. To be mindful is to be truly alive and present with those around you and with what you are doing. Even routine tasks can become a meditation of sorts.

Tap into abundant energy. The universal life force, also known as chi, is present in every living thing. It flows freely in us when we eat healthy food, get proper exercise, breathe clean air, live and work in an uncluttered environment, and avoid negativity. Taking care of yourself, including using modalities such as Reiki and massage therapy in your self-care routine, will help to keep you energized and doing your work at the highest level.

http://news.nurse.com/article/20100503/DD01/105030020

Reflections: A Love Letter to My Husband Dennis

2010-04-15T18:34:00.000-07:00

All of my 7 readers (old Rick Dees joke) know by now that I find my life's inspirations in many ways. Music is one. Today's inspiration comes from BeBe and CeCe Winans album "Still." I love the whole CD. Each time I listen to it, I connect to a different song. I suppose it depends what I'm feeling that particular day. The song of the day is "I Found You." This was a perfect fit because I've been reflecting on what a blessing my husband is in my life.
We met through business in 1990. I remember I enjoyed talking to him. And even though I thought he was cute for a "yuppie," what I was most impressed by was his good heart. However, most people we worked with thought of him differently. ( I will not comment about those folks.)
As I spent more time with Dennis, I came to enjoy his sense of humor & laughter, as well as his hard headed opinions & anger. (For the benefit of my kids...yes he did bring me over to the "Republican" side.) When it came to intimacy, he generously cared about my pleasure. (still does)
Twenty years ago I found it hard to accept that someone could genuinely love me. I questioned if I deserved love. I was so ashamed about choices I'd made as a young women. I thought I should be punished for the rest of my life. It was then and continues to be Dennis who reflects all of my goodness back to me. My husband who is not committed to any " religion," found a way to help me see how God sees me. He (Dennis) did this through his constant acceptance of me, quirks, past baggage and all.
It's Unconditional Love. I believe in God. I believe God introduced Dennis to me. The first year of our relationship,I struggled with this concept.
Dennis proposed to me on Valentine's Day 1991. We married in 1993.
Our love has grown through happy and challenging times. He is my best friend who continues to reflect my goodness back to me.

I Found You (Cindy's Song)
BeBe and CeCe Winans

When I found you...I found somebody who cares
When i found you...Found my most intimate prayer
When i found you...I found what every heart dreams of
When i found you...I found love

When I found you I found the rest of my life
When I found you I told all others good-bye
When I found you I saw my fears fly away like a dove
When I found you I found love

I Know True love sounds crazy
But worth waiting for
You are the one...My only
Forever More

When I found you i found my fate in your arms
When i found you i found no cause for alarm
When I found you i knew this love was a gift from above
When i found love...

Face of the tea party is female - Kenneth P. Vogel - POLITICO.com

2010-04-15T18:30:00.000-07:00

Very intering piece. Needless to say, I agree!
Face of the tea party is female - Kenneth P. Vogel - POLITICO.com

Great Blog post

2010-04-15T10:03:00.000-07:00

I've been ready to throw a "pity party" for weeks now! Dealing with the changes in my body,the changes in my back pain, and my all over defeated attitude, I'm overwhelmed. This particular blog entry helped me! Please read it! Maybe it'll help you too!

Live in the Moment : The Art of Now!

My Letter to Obama after Virginia & New Jersey

2010-01-27T11:54:00.000-08:00

I sent this letter to the President afer the Virgina and New Jersey elections.
And yes, I do write to the White House. I know it's probably a waste of time, but I humored myself into thinking my voice counted.

Good Evening President Obama!

It's been awhile since I've written you. I believe the last letter was about healthcare.

As I sit writing on this election night, I can't help but reflect back to your election one year ago. Although I didn't vote for you, I did have high hopes that my misgivings about your lack of leadership experience would be overcome. I believe you've let Ms. Pelosi and Mr. Reid run wild with what they (and perhaps you) thought was a mandate a year ago.

By the way, I grew up in a Chicago suburb, and I KNOW about the Chicago Democrat Machine. (My uncle spent time in federal prison for income tax evasion after his mayoral terms ended.)

I believe you've surrounded yourself with some questionable people. The "Czars" are one example of political power & patronage gone awry!

So why am I writing to you?

Listening to Virginians talk tonight they stated their main concern was JOBS!

It dawned on me that this is so SIMPLE!

It's Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. The bottom of the pyramid is as follows:

PHYSIOLOGICAL: Basic survival needs; water, air, food and sleep.

SAFETY: desire for steady employment, (jobs) health insurance, safe neighborhoods

So, while healthcare is definitely important, having a job more imprortant. That job provides food, clothing etc.

There's no doubt healthcare needs reform. ( I'm a nurse.)

But the bills from the House and Senate are not well thought out. It's like they threw a bunch of mud on the wall and they're waiting to see what sticks. Is his really any way to reform healthcare, seeing what crap sticks? I don't think so. Take Time!! Wait! You'll earn more respect with a leaner, smaller & responsive healthcare plan. Be a LEADER!

I write a blog about nursing, my loves, my passion, and well of course, some politics. Yesterday, I posted three blogs. The one I'd like to focus is not the one on Afghanistan. The one I'd like you to read is "Gratitude..."

It features a song that the late Wayman Tisdale recorded on his CD "21 Days."

When I listened to the children say Thank you, it dawned on me that it really is that simple:

Thank you Jesus:

For putting clothes on my back!

For my family!

For my life!

For my food!

For waking us up this morning!

For our schools!

For my sister!

For my brother!

For my Mom!

Jesus Bless this generation!

Keep it simple! Then the rest will follow!

Thanks for the time!

Carol

http://mamababy-queenofhearts.blogspot.com/

Reflections: AVATAR, India.Arie's "Grains" and me

2010-01-27T11:12:00.000-08:00

I went to see AVATAR this past weekend and found I really enjoyed it! I had no idea what to expect and given that there is so much else going on in the world, I didn't read any reviews.
My connection to the movie was "spiritual." I don't mean God, Christ or any religion. For me, it was my belief we are all created from the "same grains."
I can't answer the "what about the pseudo military/mercenaries or the big bad company" portrayed in the movie (But let's face it they were pretty one dimensional.) I also don't pretend to know Mr. Cameron's intent. Who cares what his intent was anyway?
I believe I was created by God from the same "grains" as everyone. I believe we are given free will to do as we choose. And that "free will" is what creates havoc here on earth.
Having said that, my interpretation (of the movie) is that the Na'avii people understand their connection to their " universe." The scene where they are all joined arm and arm praying(my interpretation,) was emotionally riveting and very moving.

On Sunday, while on iTunes, I came across a new CD (actually it was released in 2009) from one of a favorite songstress: India. Arie.

The 2009 CD is titled: Testimony, Volume 2: Love & Politics
I love the whole CD, but am drawn especially to her interwoven: Intro, Interlude and Outro "Grains."

Here are the words:

"Intro: Grains"

I’m grateful that you created me from the same grains from the same things

I’m grateful that you never cease to amaze me the way you love me

"Interlude: Grains"

I am grateful that you never cease to amaze me the way you love me

From the flicker of an eyelash to the furthest star

From the pyramids to the beat of my heart

From a woman in Somalia to a child in Harlem

We’re created from the same things

I’m grateful that you created me from the same grains from the same things

I‘m grateful that you never cease to amaze me the way you loved me

"Outro: Grains"

I'm grateful that now I can see

that I am a part of everything

and everything is a part of me

you've amazed me

I've included a blog post from months ago.

MY PASSION

Working as a Labor and Delivery nurse for 24 years, I felt blessed and honored to assist women, and their families in the birth of their child(children). Hearing a newborn cry, witnessing a family's joy always touched me deeply. As well, when I was asked to assist women, and their family in delivering a "baby born asleep", their pain and anguish cut like a knife. Throughout all these experiences, I knew this was my passion, my calling in life.
Then I joined Antepartum Testing, and my PASSION grew. I love performing ultrasounds on the fetus'. I love showing the "moms" what their baby is doing.(kicking, sucking, practice breathing)
But most of all I love the following: witnessing the "circle of life;" recognizing we are created equal (can't tell race,religion etc. on ultrasound;) and LIFE is a MIRACLE.

In conclusion, I hear, see and understand my life through movies and songs that help me reflect on my life journey.

I believe we are created equal. I believe we have free will. I believe there is evil in the universe. I claim no understanding of God's Plan for me. I just know in my heart I am on a journey. I know and believe that God wishes me well on my journey to eternal life. He Promised and I Believe.

Peggy Noonan's WSJ Op Ed: adds more "D's" to my Obama grade: Disconnect,Detachment,Distance

2010-01-20T08:57:00.000-08:00

Slug the Obama Story 'Disconnect'

The first thing I learned in journalism is that every story has a name. At WEEI News Radio in Boston, the editor would label each story with one word, called a "slug," and assign a writer to write it for air. This week's devastating earthquake would be slugged "Haiti." A story about a gruesome murder might be "Nightmare."

We're at the first anniversary of the inauguration of President Barack Obama, and the slug, the word that captures its essence, is "Disconnect."

This is, still, a surprising word to use about the canny operatives who so perfectly judged the American mood in 2008. But they haven't connected since.

There is a disconnect, a detachment, a distance between the president's preoccupations and the concerns of his people. There's a disconnect between his policy proposals and Americans' sense, as expressed in polls, of what the immediate problems are.

I'm not referring to what is being called the president's rhetorical disconnect. In this criticism, he is not emotional enough when he speaks, he doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve, he is aloof, like a lab technician observing the movements within a petri dish called America. It may be true that this doesn't help him, but so what? In a successful presidency, his cool demeanor would be called an interesting facet, not a problem. And Americans don't really need presidents to move them, when you think about it. They need them to lead, and in the right direction.

Nor am I referring to an iconic disconnect. In this criticism, the president refuses to or is unable to act as a paternal figure. "A president is a father," say these critics. "He must comfort us." But, actually, your father is your father. In any case he always seemed like the bright older brother, not the father.

You want a competent chief executive with a deep and shrewd sense of the people. Americans want him to be on the same page as they are. But he's on a different page, and he may in fact be reading a different book. Thus the latest Quinnipiac poll, which puts his approval/disapproval at a descending 45% to 45%. Pure hunch: The approval number is probably slightly high because people don't want to disapprove of their new president—the stakes are so high!—and don't like telling pollsters they disapprove of him.

The real story is that his rhetorical and iconic detachment are harped on because they reflect a deeper disconnect, the truly problematic one, and that is over policy. It doesn't really matter how he sounds. It matters, in a time of crisis, what he does. That's where the lack of connection comes in.

The people are here, and he is there. The popularity of his health-care plan is very low, at 35% support. Someone on television the other day noted it is as low as George Bush's popularity ratings in 2008.

Yet—and this is the key part—the president does not seem to see or hear. He does not respond. He is not supple, able to hear reservations and see opposition and change tack. He has a grim determination to bull this thing through. He negotiates each day with Congress, not with the people. But the people hate Congress! Has he not noticed?

The people have come alive on the issue of spending—it's too high, it threatens us! He spends more. Mr. Obama seems at best disconnected from this anxiety.

The disconnect harms him politically, but more important it suggests a deepening gulf between the people and their government, which only adds to growling, chafing national discontent. It also put the president in the position, only one year in, only 12 months into a brand-new glistening presidency, of seeming like the same old same old. There's something tired in all this disconnect, something old-fashioned, something sclerotic and 1970s about it.

And of course the American public is reacting. All politicians are canaries in coal mines, they're always the first to feel the political atmosphere. It was significant when the Democrats lost the governorships of Virginia and New Jersey two months ago. It is significant that a handful of House and Senate Democrats have decided not to run this year. And it is deeply significant that a Republican state senator in Massachusetts, Scott Brown, may topple the Democratic nominee to fill Ted Kennedy's former seat, Martha Coakley. In a way, the Republicans have already won—it's a real race. (Scott Brown Did WIN)

Mr. Brown's whole story right now is not about disconnect but connect. Massachusetts has an 8.8% unemployment rate, and graduates of the commonwealth's great universities can't find work. An old Boston Republican hand said of the race, "It's 100% about policies—health care, taxes, what's the plan on the economy?" Mr. Brown charges that Ms. Coakley's support for cap and trade and health care will amount to $2 trillion in taxes in the next five years.

Ms. Coakley has the advantage—Massachusetts is the heart of blue-state America—but in a way her advantage is her curse. Because she is the candidate of a party that for 40 years has been used to winning, reigning and winning again, she looks like the same old same old, a standard old-line liberal, the frontwoman for a machine, a yes woman for the Obama-Pelosi era.

It is interesting that Ms. Coakley, too, has been told by pundits the past week that her problem is that she's not emotional enough. She should show passion and fire! She should cry like Hillary!

This comes not only from pundits but normal people, and if you contemplate the meaning it is, weirdly: You're not good enough at manipulating us! We want more theatrics!

Both national parties are trying to pour in money and resources, but the most obnoxious intrusion must have been the fund-raising letter this week from New York's Sen. Charles Schumer, who tried to rouse the troops by calling Mr. Brown a "far-right teabagger." Does that kind of thing even work anymore? Doesn't name calling put off anyone not already predisposed to agree with it?

In a time when the people of Massachusetts have real concerns about their ability to make a living, stuff like the Schumer letter is just more evidence of a party's disconnect.

Politics is about policy. It's not about who's emotional and who cries or makes you cry. It's not about big political parties and the victories they need in order to rule. It's not about going on some ideological toot, which is what the health-care bill is, hoping the people will someday see and appreciate your higher wisdom.

In a way, Mr. Obama's disconnection is a sign of the times. We are living in the age of breakup, with so many of the ties that held us together loosening and fraying. If the president wants to lead toward something better, he should try listening. If you can't connect through the words you speak, at least you can do it through your ability to hear.

Printed in The Wall Street Journal Europe, page 15

I give Barack Obama a "D"

2010-01-17T09:41:00.000-08:00

Dishonest, Disgusted, Disillusioned and Disheartened

Was it really almost a year ago that Barack Obama was sworn in? Even though I didn't vote for him, I was hopeful that the new President might change how government functions.

And guess what? He has!

But it is not what I expected. Silly me. I grew up in Chicago.I should know better. Mr. President is a Chicago politician. Behind closed door deals, strong arm politics and patronage jobs are just SOP for him. ( Dishonest )

It seems each day I read about another assault by this administration and Congress on the Constitution. ( Disgusted )
But I didn't vote for him!

Imagine how those people that did vote for him feel?

My mother who was born, raised and still lives in Chicago voted for Obama. She now says she is so sorry she did! She bought his rhetoric about change. She says he's worse than anyone who's been president in her lifetime. She tells me of how many folks/family are out of work back home. She's angry that she got taken in by all of his campaign promises. She's a senior on limited income and now realizes she will have less with Obama.
(Disillusioned & Disheartened )

I am sure she isn't the only person who regrets their vote.

It seems that the President ( and the Democratic Congress ) is more concerned with their Legacy, ie: Healthcare Reform, than with the economy and jobs.

So here's a suggestion: Let's get off the "D" list.

Use the 2010 midterm elections to FIRE the current lawmakers who are not listening to their constituents.

Then get ready to FIRE President Obama in 2012!

In the meantime, let's HIRE Scott Brown! Get him elected in Massachsetts!

ER vs. Vicodin

2010-01-11T10:39:00.000-08:00

I'm in bed nursing a sore back. In July 2008 I was diagnosed with spinal stenosis,dorsal tears around some discs, herniated discs, etc. I had severe pain in my left hip, back radiating and burning down to my knee. Childbirth was easier to manage than that pain! 2 epidural steroid injections and 3 months of Physical Therapy later, I returned to my nursing position @ Hoag Memorial Presbyterian Hospital.

I've had "twinges" in my back. And some little pains that I always have been able to remedy through what I learned in Physical Therapy. Most recently in October 09, I discovered wearing the wrong shoes caused me problems. At that time I tried to see my orthopedic md. I was told no appts were available until the following week. Here I was in pain with good insurance and couldn't get an appt.
I managed to treat myself and things were ok until this weekend. Actually I think part of the problem stemmed from how busy we were on Friday @ work. I didn't sit down for lunch or visit the lady's room until 7 hours into my shift. We normally don't get breaks, so I am used to the pace. I can usually grab some water and bathroom time. ( I suppose some people might call those breaks! ) On Friday that wasn't the case. I came home exhausted and had heart palpatations from fatigue and not hydrating.
Saturday still feeling tired, went for a beachwalk. Then on Sunday repeated the walk. I did feel twinges in my right hip, back and groin area on Friday night and Saturday. But on my Sunday walk I had to lay down on the sand and stretch and wait until I could walk home.
I took 2 vicodin and slept Sunday afternoon. The pain was lessened, but not gone.
This morning I called the doctor, told the appointment lady that I was in pain ( I always tell them I'm a nurse@ Hoag hoping this would get me in to see the doc. It never works!) She then asks me my insurance.( it's a PPO.) I also tell her that I'm in enough pain to go to ER, but I find that to be a misuse of medical benefits! Guess what? She tells me she can't get me into see anyone!
Am I crazy? I have insurance. I want to see a doc in an office setting. I have never been one to use the ER for care. That's why ER is so overcrowded. I hung up and started to cry! Said Screw it! And took another Vicodin! If the pain overtakes the pills, I'll blog from ER!
Otherwise, it's time for me to sleep!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Michael Ramirez Cartoon

2009-12-29T19:15:00.000-08:00

Michael Ramirez Cartoon

Christmas Gift Baskets for Fetal Diagnostics 2009

2009-12-20T18:35:00.000-08:00

Each Christmas I try to create something inexpensive and different for the nurses/staff I work with.

This year my theme started with the purchase of tissue holders from
http://www.sewgracious.etsy.com/

I ordered all different prints and then put kleenex packets in them.

Then I made my way to Target and bought socks,gloves and sanitizer and a gift container.

My theme was "Please don't get the flu." Sung to "Button Up Your Overcoat."

And Voila.....

Button up your overcoat

Put on gloves & socks, too.

Take good care of yourself,

Please don't get the flu!

I had a lot of fun doing this. Total price $10 each. Well worth it in my book.

Copy of White House Letter RE: President Obama's Update on Health Reform

2009-12-19T16:29:00.000-08:00

The following is a copy of a letter sent by the White House
RE: President Obama's Update on Health Reform
I've highlighted some Areas that I believe are at best misleading and at worst outright lies.
I watched Senator Thune's presentation to the Senate. If this passes only 1% of the bill takes effect in January. But taxpayers will start being taxed for the rest of the plan (99%) that won't take effect until 2014. I suppose they think that is pulling the wool over our eyes. I resent that the government: congress and the president, think we won't "understand" any of this.
By the way, what was the inference by the phrase "cable chatter?"

Dear Friend,

After months of debate this year, and decades of gridlock before, our country is closer than ever to passing the single most important piece of domestic legislation since Social Security. This is no small feat. There's a reason that presidents from Truman to Nixon to Clinton have called for, but been unable to achieve, health reform: it's incredibly difficult.

The current legislation in Congress includes many of the protections found in the bipartisan Patient’s Bill of Rights that has been repeatedly defeated by special interests. President Obama addresses that, as well as the broader substance and fierce urgency of health reform, in his latest weekly address. Watch it here: No Video included here.

There are some great elements of this bill that will take some time to set up, such as the new insurance marketplace -- the Exchange -- that allows people without insurance and small businesses to compare plans and buy insurance at competitive prices. But there are a lot of other benefits for families that will kick in during the first year if we get this passed:

* In the first year, we will make it illegal for insurance companies to drop coverage for Americans.

* In the first year, more of your money will start going where it belongs: towards your care instead of excessive insurance company profits or TV ads. We will start forcing insurance companies to report the proportion of premium dollars that are not spent on medical care -- including profits. If a company isn’t spending enough of its premium dollars providing benefits for families, it will have to issue rebate checks to its customers to make up the difference.

* In the first year, all insurance plans will have to begin covering preventive services, helping to shift our health care from just sickness to wellness. If you purchase insurance on your own, you will receive preventive care from your doctor without paying a co-pay.

* In the first year, seniors will see major relief in paying for prescription drugs. The gap in coverage with Medicare, the so-called "donut hole," will start to close for good.

This bill will reduce premiums for your family, shifting the balance of power from your insurance company back to you.
Health reform extends coverage to 30,000,000 Americans without adding a dime to the Federal deficit. In fact, it represents the largest reduction to the deficit in well over a decade.

The final bill hasn't taken shape yet. There are several more steps in the process, and the President is committed to making it the best bill possible to provide security for those who have insurance and affordable, quality coverage for those who don't.

It is important to look past the bickering and cable chatter and remember that we are on the verge of providing real benefits to Americans who can’t wait any longer.

Thanks, and have a great weekend.
Sincerely,
Nancy-Ann DeParle
Director, White House Office of Health Reform

P.S. Don't miss the video of the President's weekly address. Watch it here: http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2009/12/18/weekly-address-patients-bill-rights-and-health-reform

Christmas Card 09

2009-12-16T10:06:00.000-08:00

Each year I design our Christmas Card with Picaboo! I love the program. Simple and allows me to be creative!

http://preview.picaboo.com/Webview/CoverPage.aspx?album=000000000006B496B8&user=0000000000008A6E05

Christmas Party 2009

2009-12-13T18:35:00.000-08:00

We have a Christmas Party each year with friends we've met and now have known for 10 years from the Newport Jazz Summer Series. About 3 years ago we decided to "give back" and we've adopted a different family each year at Christmas. This year we played CHARADES. Here's some pics from the house and the party.

Two More Scarves: I'm a Machine(not)

2009-12-10T10:54:00.000-08:00

I do enjoy making these. I think I'm a "yarn addict."
I can spend hours looking at yarn!

Honesty and Ethics Poll Finds Congress’ Image Tarnished

2009-12-09T15:39:00.000-08:00

Nurses lead in Gallup's annual Honesty and Ethics of Professions poll.

Oh yeah Baby ! Elect a nurse! Maybe I should run for Congress or Senate!

Honesty and Ethics Poll Finds Congress’ Image Tarnished

Count It ALL JOY!

2009-12-08T17:01:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite songs is "Count It ALL JOY" by Bebe and Ce Ce Winans.
Anyone one that knows me well knows that I use music as an inspiration and focus. Somehow, I've made my way back to The Winans.

One of the nurses that I work with has been incredibly unprofessional in actions toward each of us. She's angry and has chosen to not speak to us. It is difficult to approach her to ask her for a favor, or coverage for a patient. Not very conducive to teamwork.
Friday was a difficult day for me as the charge nurse. I came home exhausted. Yesterday she wasn't working, and that stress was gone. Today she was working again and it was more of the silence. She says she comes to work to do her job(true), but that she doesn't need to make small talk with her nursing team.

As I listened to Count it All Joy, it dawned on me that attitude is a choice. But it also opened my eyes to the fact that I believe this nurse must be hurting inside. I feel compassion for her. All I can do is pray for her, my nursing team, and me.
So I thought I'd share the words of this great song.

It's hard to understand sometime
Is there a master plan?
How do I make sense of everything
I'm going through

Maybe it's not ours to know
So we have to learn to let things go
And simply try to make the most of every day
And have the faith that somehow we will find our way

So count it all joy,
All that you're going through
Even when you're feeling down
Count it all joy,
Each moment's a gift to you
So turn it all around

And even in the darkest night
If you look hard enough
There's a trace of sunlight waiting there
Yes, waiting there for you, for you

Been searching everywhere to find
That rainbow in the air
Whenever I came close
It just seemed to disappear
I had to change my point of view
Start looking at myself
I can't believe I never knew
Everything that I need was right here
Yes, inside of me

Refrain: Count It All Joy
I will....Learn to:
     Look inside myself believing God's inside me and each of us.
     Keep the Faith.
     Let go and Let God.
     Keep Praying.

Izzy and Noah Halloween 2009 2

2009-12-06T22:18:00.000-08:00

Picasa Web Albums - Carol - Halloween 2009 2

And More Scarves

2009-12-03T17:28:00.000-08:00

The "Girly Girl" Scarf

Blue Sky Scarf

Desert Sunset Scarf

Mr. President, here's how to lift our economy - USATODAY.com

2009-12-03T07:35:00.000-08:00

Last year, before the election, I heard Mitt Romney speak on a radio program. I remember thinking,"This guy knows business and economics!" I was impressed! So, here's an article from USA Today by Mitt Romney.

Mr. President, here's how to lift our economy - USATODAY.com

More Scarves: I Love Making These!

2009-12-02T15:57:00.000-08:00

I haven't decided which daughter/daughter in law/friend gets what scarf. I still have more yarn, and more to make. But as I've said before,doing this keeps me sane!

Confession: I am a Mama Bear

2009-11-28T08:04:00.000-08:00

I confess. I am a Mama Bear. Actually now I’m a Grandma Bear. When I became a mother/grandmother I took an oath to protect.

My adult children know I’m a Mama Bear when it comes to protecting them.

I remember when David was six years old and was bonked on the noggin in a T-Ball game. There I was dashing out on the field like an olympics runner. Then there was the time in high school during the Varsity Football Game when he injured his ankle and wanted to go back in the game, there I was telling the coach no way. ( I did learn my lesson by the time he played football for the University of San Diego. He injured his ankle again and I stayed put!)

When Lori was in 5th grade, I picked her up at school at noon because it was a teacher’s conference day. As she got into the car she burst into tears. All of the girls were going to McDonalds and didn't invite her. I was seething, but very calmly told her a story from my grammar school days, (Joey T story) and fickle girl rejection. Then we went to McDonalds sat down and ate lunch!

Shari was in 7th grade when her friends chipped in and bought her a "Guess" jean jacket. She loved that jacket! And then someone stole it from her locker. I bought her another jacket, and that was stolen as well. She came home crying. I visited the principal’s office and demanded the jacket be reimbursed.

Both girls were on the same softball team for a couple of years. The coaches were team fathers. Some of those guys were crazy and quite often acted like children themselves. There was a father who was the 3rd base coach. During the game he yelled at all the girls, kicked the dirt and used profane language. (The Head Coach never stopped the father’s tirades.) Most of the parents in the stands were appalled. But no one said anything.

Where I come from (Chicago,) those actions require intervention. So I yelled, “Hey coach! Shut up! Quit yelling at the girls!” The guy stopped, looked at me and started yelling again! At the end of the game, I ran from the stands and proceeded to read him the riot act. I told him in no uncertain terms that I thought his behavior was awful and I wouldn’t tolerate it. He needed to stop berating the girls or I’d have him banned from the games! After I finished my “talk”, I turned around to look at the parents in the stands. (I expected applause for my bravery.) Their mouths were open in shock. No one said anything to me.

Sometimes being a Mama Bear is controversial.

Why this long story?

I've been trying to figure out why I've become so outspoken about President Obama. He took an oath to protect the Constitution and the American people.

He’s the head coach. He’s turned over economic recovery and healthcare to people who are inept, self centered, politically motivated yellers! (With some dirt kicking and profanity, too) And the people in the stands are appalled!

This is my message to the President! Man-Up! Be a Mama Bear!

My Creative Outlet

2009-11-21T11:36:00.000-08:00

I made these! I love trying different things and these have inspired my creative side. By doing something creative, I find that my professional side, Nursing, actually functions better! My brain works better! (That's why all the political commentary! Ha!)

Most of these are gifts for family or friends! But I don't think I can stop! I love doing these!

MANY MANY THANKS to all the sellers from etsy.com for all the gorgeous yarn!

First Cervical Cancer Screening Delayed Until Age 21 Less Frequent Pap Tests Recommended

2009-11-20T07:20:00.000-08:00

An Update from ACOG: RE: Pap Test Screening. Any thoughts?
This ACOG recommendation is different than the government convened panel report published earlier this week. These OBGYN'S are currently practicing and have reviewed the current literature. Whereas the government panel are scientists (with MD behind their name) who haven't practiced in this field(OB/GYN)
Plan of care is a still a discussion women should have with their physicians!

First Cervical Cancer Screening Delayed Until Age 21 Less Frequent Pap Tests Recommended

ACOG Statement on Revised US Preventive Services Task Force Recommendations On Breast Cancer Screening

2009-11-19T09:16:00.000-08:00

Just passing this information on from ACOG.(American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists)

ACOG Statement on Revised US Preventive Services Task Force Recommendations On Breast Cancer Screening

As a Mom......A Sisterhood of Mommy Patriots

2009-11-18T16:49:00.000-08:00

I came home from work tired. It seems like many nurses/people are VERY STRESSED. True, working in a fetal antepartum testing center, has it's share of stressors but this is different. Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner but again, I've worked enough years during this period and find people's reactions are very emotional. So what is different? I'm no expert but I believe it's the "State of the Union."(And don't say "duh!)

It's just not the economy and job loss(stupid). It's our safety and security that's been shaken (Ft. Hood)and is being shaken again by some pretty incredible decisions by the White House.
I believe NOBODY wants the 9/11 terrorists to be tried in NYC! And quite frankly "what are the President and Attorney General Holder thinking?" Why do terrorists who perpetrated an ACT of WAR against the United States have the right to a civil trial? They are not citizens. It should be a military tribunal.
As if that's not enough to drive people crazy, we're getting a 2+ trillion dollar healthcare plan jammed down our throat or rammed up somewhere else! And for a "peek" into how that government healthcare plan will work all people need to do is look at the Government Covened Panel to review mammograms! This was a SIX (6) person panel made up of CHOSEN MD's & scientists that rendered the ludacris recommendations: No mammos between 40-50 years of age and after 50 years old, every 2 years until age 75. Oh yes and breast self exams don't have to be done because it's NOT PROVEN it helps.
What Koolaid were these folks drinking?
Think about it! If there is a government plan and private plans, how long do you think it will take for the private plans to change their care guidelines.
Truth is that with the technology we have available now for mammograms, there are less "false positives" and therefore less biopsies.
My level of trust in this Administration is diminishing.(OK so it wasn't high to begin with, but I did have hope.)

In closing, As a Mom... had us vote on T shirts. I voted for the one near the bottom with the flag and eagle. Take a look at the website.

http://asamom.ning.com/

Network of principled mothers, grandmothers, daughters, & guardians of our nation's children dedicated to the 9 Principles & 12 Values.

..9 12 Project.The Nine Principles

1. America is good.

2. I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life.

3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday.

4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government.

5. If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.

6. I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results.

7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.

8. It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion.

9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.

To these we add this one:

Children are a gift from God and a sacred responsibility

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APPLE OAT MUFFINS

2009-11-11T17:21:00.000-08:00

http://befitnpretty.com/2009/10/29/fall-into-the-kitchen-with-apples/

Mmmmm These sound great!

Oaths of Enlistment

2009-11-11T12:13:00.000-08:00

Nice reminder of the Military Oaths.
Mmmmm....same oath(s) Mr. Hasan took?

Federal law requires everyone who enlists or re-enlists in the Armed Forces of the United States to take the enlistment oath. The oath of enlistment into the United States Armed Forces is administered by any commissioned officer to any person enlisting or re-enlisting for a term of service into any branch of the military. The officer asks the person, or persons, to raise their right hand and repeat the oath after him. The oath is traditionally performed in front of the United States Flag and other flags, such as the state flag, military branch flag, and unit guidon may be present.

The Oath of Enlistment (for enlistees):
"I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God."

In the National Guard (Army or Air)
I, (NAME), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States and the State of (STATE NAME) against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the Governor of (STATE NAME) and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to law and regulations. So help me God.

The Oath of Office (for officers):

"I, _____ (SSAN), having been appointed an officer in the Army of the United States, as indicated above in the grade of _____ do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign or domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance tot he same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservations or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office upon which I am about to enter; So help me God."

Guide Note: There has been some controversy about whether the phrase "So help me God" is mandatory. I have seen officers allow enlistees to omit these words, if they choose, according to their religious preference and beliefs. While federal law does not appear to make any part of the oath optional (see Title 10, Section 502 of the United States Code), military regulations often do. For example, the Army enlistment regulation (see Army Regulation 601-210, paragraph 6-18) makes the portion "So help me God" optional.

HONORING OUR MILITARY VETERANS VIDEO

2009-11-11T09:58:00.000-08:00

VETERAN'S DAY: NOVEMBER 11, 2009
VIDEO by FOX NEWS

I LOVE THIS VIDEO!
RIGHT ON FOX!
KUDDOS FOR YOUR SUPPORT OF OUR MILITARY & OUR VETERANS!
BEAUTIFULLY DONE!

#/video/video.php?v=1284916320086

TERRORISM, TREASON, TRAITOR..."OH WE GOT TROUBLE & IT STARTS WITH T..."

2009-11-10T10:58:00.000-08:00

Watching Fox News this morning,waiting for the President to arrrive for the MEMORIAL for the SOLDIERS LIVES lost and INJURED @ Ft. Hood, I am struck by the depth of my feelings. I am angry! Angry because I believe that the pendulum of "political correctness" has swung way too far.(to the left.)
As more information becomes available about Mr. Hasan(I refuse to acknowledge his degrees or rank in our military), he was born and raised in the United States and was a Muslim. Clearly for him, this created an internal battle. I believe many eyes were closed as this man made choices to voice his thoughts and feelings regarding his struggle.
Having said that,what he did was WRONG! He PREMEDITATEDLY MURDERED
13 PEOPLE & INJURED 38 PEOPLE on a Military Base, AN ACT of TERRORISM right here in the United States! He (Hassan) needs to be tried in the court as a murderer and a TRAITOR! Oh yeah we got trouble.....

"Ya Got Trouble" (Meredith Wilson music and lyrics) Music Man

Well, either you're closing your eyes

To a situation you do now wish to acknowledge

Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated

By the presence of a pool table in your community.Trouble, oh we got trouble,
(substitute TRAITOR for pool table)

Right here in River City! (America)

With a capital "T"

That rhymes with "P" (Traitor)

And that stands for Pool, (Treason)

That stands for pool. (Terrorism)

We've surely got trouble!

Right here in River City, (America)

Right here!

Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...

Gratitude...My Pathway to Happiness and Finding Me ...again

2009-11-02T16:21:00.000-08:00

http://www.artistdirect.com/nad/window/media/page/0,,2756924-5609757,00.html

Please note the slide show on the left: Halloween 2009 Isabella & Noah, My Grandchildren
Oh how they make me laugh!!!

While riding today trying to assess my hips, legs and my butt after a painful weekend, I was listening to Wayman Tisdale's "21 Days" on my I Phone. I love this CD and have found different songs at different times have provided not only inspiration but also focus. Today I was listening to "Jesus is the Answer." It is sung by children and it's truly inspiring. My disc burner appears to be broken, but I found a way to link a sample of the song.
Here's the lyrics for this version:

Mary had a little lamb and Jesus was His name......

Jesus is the answer for the world today

Above him there's no other, Jesus is the way
Jesus is the answer for the world today
Above him there's no other, Jesus is the way

Then individual children say: I Thank You Jesus:

For putting clothes on my back!
For my family!
For my life!
For my food!
For waking us up this morning!
For our schools!
For my sister!
For my brother!
For my Mom!
Jesus Bless this generation!

Each time I listen to this song I'm inspired! Life really is that simple.
Happiness is living a life filled with gratitude.... for what is real in my life. I'll add my list to the above:
I Thank You Jesus:

For my children
For my grandchildren
For my husband
For my friends
For my profession/my calling
For my parents
For my aches and pains
For Freedom
For my Faith
For the United States of America
For the Military and their Families

There's soooo much more...another post to follow!

Happiness vs Back Pain

2009-11-02T11:58:00.000-08:00

Last week in a conversation with my friend Phyllis,I said the following: "I feel great! I'm happy! Sure there are challenges but I love my life! 58 is GREAT!"
My happiness is my own to control. Living a life of introspection has helped me acknowledge my blessings, as well acknowledge my stumbling blocks,my "baggage." I always try to strike a balance between my blessings and my needed improvements. I can become too hard myself, so I really try to limit my own brow beating!

After I shared my happiness, the Italian side of my brain said; "get ready for the other shoe to drop!" I promptly decided to ignore my crazy Italian-Catholic Girl voice. One week later I found myself with more back pain than I've had in 18 months. I actually had to leave work on Friday. As luck or better put the orthopedic group I go to had no same day appointments. Couldn't get an order for physical therapy either, until "they can evauluate my pain!" So home I went in pain,took Vicodin, rested and tried to evaluate what had changed those past 2 weeks. Did the other shoe (s)drop?
In a word, YES! LITERALLY! I had purchased Reebock Easy Tone Shoes. Those are the ones that are supposed help your butt,calves,etc. Oh yeah, they helped...give me a pain in my ASS! And my back,too! I'll be returning them to Nordstrom this week! On Saturday I purchased ASICS 3000 running shoes. I don't run anymore, but these shoes give me support when I walk. Being a nurse, I've worn all kinds of shoes,from Dansko to the Stretch Walker to regular athletic shoes. There is no perfect answer. I'll try these and see they feel after 8-10 hours on my feet.

After having spent two days on Vicodin, I found myself depressed(duh), reevaluating & contemplating my happiness.

Why is MY or anyone's Happiness important?
As a former Nursing Psyche Instructor used to say..."If the Mama's happy, then everyone in the family is happy!" I'm going to rephrase it in terms I understand today.

If I'm happy, that happiness radiates inside me and out to others I encounter. I know I've felt the touch from others,so much so that I strive to find my radiance, my light! I believe this is God within me. I mean I truly believe this! I truly believe this is my calling...my journey.

I have more to share so I'll be writing another entry shortly.

Cognitive Dissonance: Say Whaaaaat?

2009-10-08T08:06:00.000-07:00

It isn't everyday that I allow my thoughts to just roam around the files in my head! But while driving and listening to "oldies but goodies," my mind started to rummage around things I'd filed "for later examination." Before I knew it I was thinking about a conversation I had with a co-worker. She'd commented that there would be no raises for anyone this next fiscal year at the hospital.(Sometimes we've gotten % raises to stay competitive in the marketplace, but yearly reviews are performance based.)

In July, I wrote a blog about how I love being a nurse. I enjoy monitoring women's babies in Antepartum Testing and feel I make a difference in their pregnancy. This is my "psychic" income. My soul is nourished by seeing fetus' on ultrasound reminding me of the miraculous "Circle of Life."

However, my love for my job doesn't include the compensation. I've been a nurse for almost 30 years. From the time I started as a new nurse, I have received approximately $1.23 raise each year until now. Nourishing, serving and helping others is in the fabric of my life. Tried management, but always returned to patient care. In some ways, I'm a Nursing Dinosaur.

This is where my "Cognitive Dissonance" occurs.

Description:
This is the feeling of uncomfortable tension which comes from holding two conflicting thoughts in the mind at the same time.

Dissonance increases with:

1. The importance of the subject to us.

2. How strongly the dissonant thoughts conflict.

3. Our inability to rationalize and explain away the conflict.

Dissonance is often strong when we believe something about ourselves and then do something against that belief. If I believe I am good but do something bad, then the discomfort I feel as a result is cognitive dissonance.

Cognitive dissonance is a very powerful motivator which will often lead us to change one or other of the conflicting belief or action. The discomfort often feels like a tension between the two opposing thoughts. To release the tension we can take one of three actions:

1. Change our behavior.

2. Justify our behavior by changing the conflicting cognition.

3. Justify our behavior by adding new cognitions.

from //http://www.changingminds.org/
Reference: Festinger (1957), Festinger and Carlsmith (1959)

Even though I know I'm doing what I love, and doing it well, is it wrong for me to expect appropriate compensation?

And if there is no monetary way to say "job well done," what other ways are there to compensate nurses?

It certainly hasn't been by "pats"on the back or written notes from the director, or even "gold"stars next to my name. It certainly hasn't been "spa day" gift certificates or extra PTO. (paid time off)

My dissonance increases when I realize that economic times are tough and I should be grateful I have a job!
But should a hospital try to "save" money on the backs of their nurses?

BTW: I don't have answer today! I'll keep you posted.

Another event my daughter Shari designed

2009-10-07T09:17:00.000-07:00

http://www.flowergirlsanfrancisco.com/home.html

Think Pink

2009-10-07T08:12:00.000-07:00

THINK PINK! BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH!

I may use some of these ideas for a party later this month.(Celebrating a friend's birthday, a friend's recovery from breast cancer and a USC football game.) If the NFL can wear pink, so can USC fans!

http://www.hostessblog.com/2009/09/create-a-pink-ribbon-dessert-buffet/

http://www.hostessblog.com/2009/10/pink-your-drink-cocktail-recipes/

http://www.hostessblog.com/2009/09/pink-ribbon-trio-centerpiece/

Cookies

2009-10-04T18:39:00.000-07:00

This sounds like a great recipe!

http://erincooks.com/minty-cocoa-cookies

San Francisco Engagement Session Photography | Golden Gate Bridge Engagement Session Photographer | Lori Paladino Photography

2009-10-04T14:48:00.000-07:00

Another post from my daughter's photos!
I told her these should be an ad for San Francisco Tourism done to the music: "I Can See Clearly Now."

San Francisco Engagement Session Photography Golden Gate Bridge Engagement Session Photographer Lori Paladino Photography

San Francisco Portrait Photography | Bay Area Lifestyle Photographer | Katie, William & Liam | Lori Paladino Photography

2009-10-04T14:43:00.000-07:00

I've said it before...I'll say it again...I'll say it forever: This Photographer is "THE BEST"
Ok so she's my daughter...I'm not biased!
Check it out!

San Francisco Portrait Photography Bay Area Lifestyle Photographer Katie, William & Liam Lori Paladino Photography

Loving this blog

2009-10-04T14:29:00.000-07:00

I've started using Orglamix shadows! They're like silk! Anyway, found this blog and really enjoy it! Check it out!
http://thepaperbluebird.wordpress.com/

My Libra Horoscope

2009-09-30T19:53:00.000-07:00

It was fun to read! And I agree with it! I spend most of my time keeping things balanced.

Fun things for kids: Bug Bites Play Food

2009-09-30T19:38:00.000-07:00

My grandson loves "play food!"

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6168684

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6359486

Shared via AddThis

Mmmmm Pumpkin Milkshake

2009-09-30T19:29:00.000-07:00

Sounds delicious!!!!

Cool fall flowers

2009-09-30T19:15:00.001-07:00

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=7366134

Shared via AddThis

If I knew then what I know now...A Story about Breast Feeding

2009-09-25T16:05:00.000-07:00

On a new patient's admission , I ask about breast feeding choice. Most women say "yes." Women who have had difficulty breast feeding their first child often reply: " I'd like to try again."
As a nurse, woman & mother, I believe that particular answer deserves more discovery. After asking more questions, I sometimes share my first experience breast feeding.
At 18 I found myself pregnant with my first child.(It was an Italian "shotgun"wedding, but that's another story.) Little did I realize what a "tug of war" would ensue when I made my decision to breastfeed. My mother was appalled that I would choose something so "old fashioned." My mother-in-law wrote me letters about how mother's milk is "God's Milk." Needless to say,at eighteen, I didn't know who to rebel against. Being my mother's daughter,the path of less resistance was to bottle feed.

I was in a daze after a rapid,painful no drug labor. My baby had arrived. The next thing I knew,there was a nurse standing next to me with a syringe aimed at my arm. She asked me," bottle or breast ? " In that split second I answered, "I'll breast feed!"
(This was in 1970. Deladumone injection was given to suppress lactation.)

In the dark age of 1970, hospital policy was that babies that had not been examined by the pediatrician after their birth, had to remain in the nursery until the following morning. (David was born @ 1027 am.) However, it seems that he drove the nurses crazy crying and not wanting to be nipple fed, so they relented and brought him to me at 1:30 am. I knew nothing about breast feeding and the nurse gave me no specific instructions. He sucked voraciously...I think for 20-30 minutes on each side! My nipples were so sore that when he latched on, painful tingles went through my body!

After my 4 day hospital stay, I went to stay with my parents while my husband finished the college quarter. Arriving home, I found my mom had borrowed an antique looking baby scale. She explained that I would never know HOW MUCH milk David would get, so we needed to weigh him before and after he nursed. Looking back, that made no sense, but I never thought about it then.

Can you imagine trying to figure out how much milk he got?

My mother had never nursed me. She did try with my youngest sister, but was unsuccessful. Having no frame of reference, she couldn't understand my choice to breast feed.

Because Davey was her first grandchild, I think she missed not feeding him herself. In retrospect, I think I knew understood that feeding my baby was my right. Unfortunately, I was young and didn't have the nerve or energy to bump heads with my parents. Neither my mom nor my dad would enter the room when I was nursing. I felt ostrasized.

As it turns out, I nursed David for three weeks! My mother kept saying he wasn't gaining weight. He was starved because he wanted to eat every two - three hours. And something was wrong with his bowel movements....it was mustard colored and seedy looking! So finally I quit! My mom called our family doctor, and before you knew it, I was on pills to stop nursing.(Parlodel) And David was on formula.

One week later, I returned to my own little college apartment, and took David to see the pediatrician. He had gained two pounds! He didn't just gain the weight from one week of bottle feeding! It was from breast feeding!

Now I tell moms (who are receptive) that I almost didn't nurse my second child, because of my experience with my first with my first. Nursing my second child was sooo much easier. And I nursed my third child ,too!

Moral of the story:
Give breast feeding a try. Again. Yes it is natural, but it's a learning situation,too!(for baby and mom)Be PATIENT and RELAX! ASK for help.(from reliable, trusted people)

I am grateful working for a hospital that earned the international certification "Baby Friendly." The feedback from the patients is great!
So check it out!
http://www.womensenews.org/article.cfm?aid=4092

SISTERS

2009-09-20T19:00:00.000-07:00

This was e-mailed to me from my daughter Lori's Mother-in-law, Carol.
Again, I just wanted to share this.

Sisters

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day,drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter..

'Don't forget your sisters,' she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them..'

'Remember that 'sisters' means ALL the women...your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women always do.'

What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman thought. Haven't I just gotten married?

Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her mother. She kept contact with her sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her mother really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, sisters are the mainstays of her life..

After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL:

Time passes.

Life happens.

Distance separates.

Children grow up.

Jobs come and go.

Love waxes and wanes.

Men don't do what they're supposed to do.

Hearts break.

Parents die.

Colleagues forget favors.

Careers end.

BUT.........

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end... Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family: all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other... Every day, we need each other still.

Pass this on to all the women who help make your life meaningful.
I just did.

Love, Carol

Grandson Noah Sings June 2009

2009-09-20T14:02:00.000-07:00

Lori had just gotten her new i phone 3GS.So she recorded Noah and emailed it to me. I love it each time I hear it! Enjoy!

Grandson Noah sings

The 'Middle Wife"

2009-09-20T13:10:00.000-07:00

My husband's friend e-mailed the following story. I don't know the author, or it's origination, or even if it's true. But it sure is HILARIOUS!

"The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,
but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade
classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions
with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually,
show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes,
pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any
boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school
and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid,
takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow
stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and
I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put
a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine
months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to
laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her
in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh,
Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around
the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a
hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

' My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have
a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in
bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)"

'And then,pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push,push,' and breathe,breathe. They started counting,but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden,out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said came from my Mom's play-center,(placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out the middle wife spanked him for crawling up there.'

Then Erica stood up and took a big, theatrical bow and returned to her seat.

I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show and tell day, I bring my camcorder,just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

Check this out

2009-08-03T17:25:00.000-07:00

Great actor,writer, and SON!

http://www.davidpaladino.com/

LABOR 1970 STYLE

2009-08-01T08:54:00.000-07:00

I was 3 days past my due date when I visited my OB. I had "lost" my mucous plug. He didn't examine my cervix saying I'd probably go into labor soon. And then he gave me the

HOW YOU'LL KNOW IT'S LABOR talk:

"Labor doesn't come every 15-10 or 5 minutes on the button. When labor happens the time differences will be irregular(11-9-12-10-15-8 minutes) apart. The contractions will vary in strength. They will be irregularly regular and they'll keep coming no matter what you do. When they are around 5 minutes apart and more painful, come to the hospital."

The following afternoon I was awakened from my nap by a phone call from my mother. Of course, she wanted to know if anything was happening. What I didn't tell her was I started having contractions from the moment she called. They started @ 10 minutes apart but they weren't painful. I kept walking around....they kept the 10 minute pace/no pain. I rolled out pizza dough...they kept coming....10 minutes apart/no pain. I ate the pizza and they still came every 10 minutes/no pain. And then ...they stopped! Nothing more happened for the next 5 hours!

Around midnight while watching "The Graham Kerr Show," I had a contraction. That one felt different, a little stronger, amnd a little painful. Eleven (11) minutes later another contraction....12 minutes another....I knew I was in LABOR! I turned to my husband and told him...and his response was as follows:

"Look, I need to get some sleep! Here's a pad of paper, a pen, a watch, and a flashlight. Wake me up when it's time to go to the hospital."

So there I sat on the bed IN THE DARK:

Turning on the flashlight, reading the watch and recording my contractions for then next 4 hours. I felt alone, scared and angry. The sound that night wasn't my moaning or crying. It was his snoring!

Epilogue:

It was 1970 and men rarely welcomed participating in women's labor and delivery. Remember all the TV shows/movies where men were in the "Waiting Room" pacing back and forth: passing out cigars: slapping each other on the back? Well that wasn't my husband. When the time came to pace, smoke and slap in the waiting room he was found sleeping! Yes, it had been a long hard night for him! And oh yes.....he's no longer my husband!

Trentadue Winery Wedding, Allison + Dustin

2009-07-30T07:05:00.000-07:00

Trentadue Winery Wedding, Allison + Dustin

Check it out!
This is my daughter Lori's Photography!

While hanging upside down.....

2009-07-29T08:03:00.001-07:00

Last year I injured my back and ended up having 2 Epidural Steroid Injections and Physical Therapy for 4 months. (couldn't work either.) So yesterday when I felt the twinges and nerve symptoms start, I was concerned. My remedy: Do what I was taught in Physical Therapy. I was extremely lucky my therapist Amber was such a good instructor. (Ok I learned to understand my body,too.) I did my pelvic rock, extended my legs and realized my R leg was shorter, and my R hip was rotated forward. This has happened before so I didn't panic. After stretching, I decided to "HANG" on my inverter in the garage.

With my feet and ankles secure I floated backwards. It was then that I thought I heard a knock at the front door. Immediately I stilled my breathing and LISTENED....All I heard was the wind blowing against the garage door and some creaking noises. Silly me! But my next thought was....

Is someone in my house? As my heart started racing, I thought about what I would do. OK, I could hit the garage door button and run out yelling FIRE FIRE !! Then I chided myself about reading too many murder mysteries lately (thanks to author Lisa Gardner) and thought better about my reading choices. As I was laughing "quitely" to myself, I heard the knob on the inside house/garage door jiggle while simultaneously hearing a man's voice.....Catapulting forward with my feet still locked in, I turned my head and screamed!

I don't know who screamed louder my husband or me!

My husband and I agree on the following:

1. Don't "HANG" naked...you never known if someone will come to visit.

2. He must announce his arrival even if he thinks I'm sleeping.

Finally....Thank God! He didn't use the automatic garage door!

How I stopped being a Sympathetic Vomitter.

2009-07-26T06:41:00.000-07:00

As a mother, I cleaned up my fair share of vomit,etc. But when I became a nurse, I found some body functions troublesome. I never minded if women urinated while pushing. Or even if they had a bowel movement. It never bothered me to change their pads after delivery..blood never got to me either. But vomit.....I was always fighting with myself not to grab an emesis basin and join the patient. This story is about how I was cured of this malady.

I was working night shift(6:30pm-7:am) at a community hospital that averaged 80 deliveries/month. (1999)This particular night we were "blitzing"....meaning we had a full house...babies, babies everywhere! I had just finished recovering my last labor patient @ 1:30am when one of the nurses asked me to break her.

As luck would have it,her patient was ready to push. (She had an epidural, no pain, but could feel the pressure of the baby's head) After she pushed for 1 contraction she yelled: "I'm going to vomit!" Frantically I looked around for an emesis basin or a cylinder....None in sight! In a flash her partner handed her THE BEDPAN! She started gagging, and proceeded to spew fluid and moan something that reminded me of The Exorcist. Quickly,I ran to the stocked closet in the room, grabbed a cylinder,and handed it to her boyfriend. Instead of giving it to her, he took it and started to vomit into it. For a moment I was stunned! Two people vomitting at the same time! And I never felt the urge to join them! I cleaned everything up and NEVER gagged. It was then and there I got over my urge to join a patient, their family, or friends in this activity.

MY PASSION

2009-07-25T17:19:00.000-07:00

Working as a Labor and Delivery nurse for 24 years, I felt blessed and honored to assist women, and their families in the birth of their child(children). Hearing a newborn cry, witnessing a family's joy always touched me deeply. As well, when I was asked to assist women, and their family in delivering a "baby born asleep", their pain and anguish cut like a knife. Throughout all these experiences, I knew this was my passion, my calling in life.

Then I joined Antepartum Testing, and my PASSION grew. I love performing ultrasounds on the fetus'. I love showing the "moms" what their baby is doing.(kicking, sucking, practice breathing)

But most of all I love the following: witnessing the "circle of life"; recognizing we are created equal (can't tell race,religion etc. on ultrasound); and LIFE is a MIRACLE.

You’re going to shave me where?

2009-06-22T09:41:00.001-07:00

In 1970 I was 18 having my first baby. I knew nothing about labor much less delivery. At some point during my pregnancy I had asked my mother the age old question, "How will I know? " Her ominous response was, "Oh, you'll KNOW !" As I sat on the gurney in my "breezy" patient gown, (willing myself not to cry), the door thumped and bumped open. There stood my nurse, with her hands on her hips, and a slight smirk on her face she said, "I've got a job to do". I had no idea what was coming my way.

First, she needed to hear the baby's heartbeat...No electronic fetal monitors like we have today! She approached me with a shiny apparatus that fastened over her head with a long protruding horn on the end. This made her look like the "Unicorn Queen".
(Actually I'd seen the doctor use this before, but it looked hilarious on her.) She told me the baby sounds ok. Her next task: she wanted to "examine" me. I had NO idea what she meant! Really! What was I thinking?

Did I expect her to have crystal ball and exclaim the baby would be here soon?

SNAP...her glove was on and charging toward my vagina! Ooooh myyyy! I felt like she was trying to reach my tonsils. Pulling her hand out she said tersely, "You're 4 centimeters". My response was," What number do I have to be at to deliver?" (I was very goal oriented.) Ten 10 centimeters was her reply. "How long will that take?" Sensing I was an overachiever, she smiled ruefully and laughed, "It could be as short as 8 hours and as long as 24!" With that, she turned and marched out of the room!

A short time later as I contemplated chewing my husband's hand off with each contraction, "Sergeant" Nurse burst into the room again. Shooing my husband out, she spun toward me saying "I'm going to shave you and give you an enema!" "Umm, where are you going to shave me?" She gleefully lifted the sheet, whispered and pointed to my pubic hair "Down there!"
I was shocked! (I didn't even realize that the worst was yet to come when the hair started growing back.) After introducing a bucket full of warm soapy water into my system, I was completely CLEANED UP and OUT! And I had no more modesty issues!

This experience is cemented in my mind. It's funny now, but at I was really scared. Here's what bothers me, the nurse seemed to enjoy my discomfort. When I was a Labor & Delivery nurse, I chose to explain everything to moms I labored. Now in Fetal Diagnostics, I realize my past experiences help me recognize patient anxiety and fear, and I can help allay those.

1981: 1st day training in labor & delivery

2009-06-22T09:14:00.001-07:00

I had been on the Maternity Unit less than a year.(1981) During which time I trained in Post Partum, and Nursery. I also became involved with the Parenting classes and started the unit's "Koffee Klatch" for new moms. (We didn't serve coffee..lots of cookies though.) At any rate, I was chomping @ the bit to learn to be a labor nurse! I knew that was where I wanted to be.
Finally, my day came! I was training with the charge nurse of L & D. She introduced me to the patient, taught me the basics of electronic fetal monitoring, and vaginal exams.(I'll cover this on another posting) Laura(not her real name) said our patient was complete (10 centimeters)....so off to the delivery room we went. Since I had "caught babies" before, that was my assignment...the baby. The doctor arrived, told the patient to push again and voila- her little girl was born! I had the baby under the radiant warmer, assessing her for Apgar scoring while drying her off. She was pink, screaming like crazy and looked great! (Apgar 9)Then I heard the doctor tell the patient..."here comes the placenta, just give me another big push." The next thing I heard him say, OK almost SCREAM, "That's not the PLACENTA, that's another BABY!" Time stood still! WHAAAT! I picked up the phone and said rather loudly "Help! we've got another baby!" Talk about exciting! All went well, until the doctor said there's a 3rd Baby!..... Just kidding! :)